Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
