did you get engaged???
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
