I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We need a shit load of segways right now
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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