Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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