I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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