4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
