My friends, they love my intelligence
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
