I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
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