How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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