I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
