New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
