You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
