she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
