You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he fucked my hip out of place.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
