You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize