I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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