I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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