4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
