apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
