Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Found your dick twin last night
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The chlamydia really affected his face.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
