so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
