Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
