i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
well you can't waste a boner
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
