you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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