you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
