I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize