Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
MIDGETS
????
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
