Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
