My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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