You're so nebulous sometimes
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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