You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
