Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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