Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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