the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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