Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
