hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
