There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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