8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
