$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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