Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
