I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
