We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
