she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
BRING THE BAGELS
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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