yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
