My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
