Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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