when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
