i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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