I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
