We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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