Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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