onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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