His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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