Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
