Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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