don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
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