Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
