If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
