How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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