he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I think your dad took our porno
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
