Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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