I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
