honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
