Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
