So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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