Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
