and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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