I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
