Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
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Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
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Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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