Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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