Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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